Moving On…

I am spending my last night at my apartment in downtown Indy on the porch, being all sentimental and thinking about the past 2 years. I have had many good times on this porch, whether it be with friends laughing, …

I Will Never Leave You…

So, when I left you all last, I was getting ready to begin my finals. I mentioned that a lot was on the line regarding my grades. A ‘C-‘ in nursing school is failing. I had a C in one class going into the final, so I was very worried. This was the class that gave me the most stress all semester. The new curriculum at my school has really tested me. All this time I was trying my best to get myself out of this hole. But as I mentioned in my last post, I had to take a step back and realize that I need to just leave all my worries in the hands of my Savior.

While I had much worry and stress going into finals week, I had peace. I could feel my friends praying for me. I could feel that the Lord was with me. Before taking my finals, I prayed. To my surprise I felt really calm while taking these finals. I knew that whether good or bad, God would take care of me. It was the sweetest feeling. Nothing quite like that sweet peace God gives you in the midst of some of the most stressful times.

After taking the finals, I left feeling confident. When I saw that I got an ‘A’ on my Patho Pharm final, I couldn’t help but rejoice. Trying to learn 92 drugs for that final was stressful and tiring, but it all paid off! God was with me through it all. My last final was the final that was the most crucial because of the grade I had in it, as stated above. This class and the professor may be the worst I’ve ever had. The professor even told me to my face that I was, “A bad test taker.” Each exam I studied harder and harder just to find myself hitting my head up against the wall, getting nowhere, doing no better. Her words made my confidence slip and made part of me want to just give up, whether I realized it or not. When I found out that the final for that class was my highest grade from all my finals, all I could do was smile and thank my God. At this moment I felt happy, yet so unworthy of these good grades that only God could have given me. I have failed Him countless times, yet He continues to be merciful and take me back each time. I give Him all the glory for my successes. They would be worth nothing if it weren’t for Him.

Lately I have been praying about many things regarding my life and future. I am a big worrier, I must admit. I like to be in control (who doesn’t!). However, the past week God has given me an indescribable peace about my future. I realize I don’t need to worry about it, because God has it all in His hands. He has it already planned out. He knows best. All I had to do was come to terms with that fact and have faith in Him. And honestly, it is such a relief! It’s so amazing! Yeah, it’s sometimes easy for my flesh to step in form time to time and forget that, but nevertheless, it’s all still true.

Within just the past few weeks I feel like I have grown so much in Him. There is no better joy in the world than having a relationship with God. Even though it sounds simple, God never leaves us, even though we might leave Him sometimes. It’s one thing to believe it, but its another thing to live by it and put complete trust in Him.