Striving to be a Proverbs 31 Woman

Many of us are familiar of the Proverbs 31 woman, even if we have not heard it phrased as such. I had not until about a week ago while reading Set-Apart Femininity and it began to stick with me. The 31st chapter of Proverbs speaks of the many joys and duties that comes with being a woman, whether physically, emotionally or spiritually. It gives us an idea of how to act, feel and live our lives in the way it would be pleasing to the Lord. It tells of a woman being under subjection to her Master. However, the world looks at this model of a woman, turns its initial meaning upside down and portrays it as degrading and oppressive to women.

I just recently finished my freshman year of college and this past spring semester I took an Introduction to Women’s Studies course. Now, just to clarify, I did not want to take this course, but my academic advisor told me to because it was easy and it would fill up one of the two diversity courses required for the nursing program. So, with much excitement (not) I enrolled in the course. I dreaded this course  because it not only was a boring and silly topic to me, but also a very liberal and non-biblical one as well. We all know what feminism is all about. It’s purpose is to glorify women, make them equal to men and allow them all the same opportunities as any other being on the planet.

As the course came to an end and we began to go over the last few chapters of the semester such topics like religion and reproductive rights came into the picture. As I read  and studied the chapter over women and religion in the book for the class, I found myself getting very angry and upset with the the author’s feelings regarding women and religion. They particularly beat down Southern Baptists because they were being oppressive to women. Coming from a Baptist background I took much offense to this. It stated that women in this religion are forced to keep quiet in many activities and refused the right to lead, preach and pastor churches because of their gender. It said that Southern Baptists believe that the women should be in subjection to their husbands. We will just say that I let my professor know that I was Missionary Baptist myself and was not allowed those same opportunities listed under Southern Baptist. BUT that I have never once felt oppressed or discriminated against because I wasn’t allowed to preach or lead a church. I am not forced to keep quiet, I can choose when I speak and know when I shouldn’t. I also told her that I don’t mind being in subjection to a man in my future, as long as he respects me. I don’t mind any of this because it is in the Bible and inscribed in God’s law.

The world’s idea of freedom is all wrong. Feminism is all about gaining freedom and equality for everyone. But as Christian women we find true freedom when we follow the laws and the will of God. A freedom that the rest of the world has never experienced or will never understand. Living these laws out to our upmost allows us a closer, more fulfilling relationship with Him. Yes, Proverbs 31 may paint a picture of a housewife, and the world may see this as degrading and stressful. But if you read on in the chapter it begins to give special characteristics to this woman; “Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.” Proverbs 31:25-26  This life is fulfilling for this woman. It gives her strength, valor, wisdom, kindness, honor, and humbleness all because she is under subjection to her Master. Subjection is very far from oppression if you ask me. It’s a blessing.

Striving to be a Proverbs 31 woman may be a challenging task, but it is a gift from God. Just like with everything else, there are good days and there are bad days. But living a life for God, at least you know He is there to pick you up when you fall. Nothing can be any worse than what His son went through in order to give us an opportunity to receive salvation. And I guarantee that living a life apart from Him will be more miserable and unsatisfying. I don’t care if I end up being a housewife under subjection to my husband. If it is my Father’s will, I want it to come to fruition.

When Dreams Come True

It’s no secret that many women and a good number of men have that wonderful dream of marriage and a family at some point in their futures. We may picture ourselves with a perfect looking spouse, with whom we have an extraordinary relationship, in our big two-story home surrounded by a white picket fence with our children playing in the yard. Society paints this unrealistic picture in our minds and hearts of what to expect and hope for in our futures. People are highly influenced by such exploitations created by society and when marriages fail and families crumble, they wonder what was the problem. The lack of Jesus is the reality of it.

Throughout my life my parents, grandparents and good friends have told me to pray for a God-fearing spouse. To let the Lord’s will be done. As I grow older I find myself praying more about a future spouse, and even for him. A good friend of mine encouraged me to read a book about a year ago called Sacred Singleness by Leslie Ludy. In this book the author discusses her personal story of trying to fulfill her own dreams of a spouse and failing. In the end she turns it all over to the Lord to let His will be done in her life. She states that we should put God first in our lives and have a wonderful relationship with Him before we go and search for a relationship with a man (or in a guy’s case, a woman). We should be so content with our relationship with our Heavenly Father that we would even be satisfied if it was not in His will for us to marry. I long to be able to feel this way.

As I get older I become more and more anxious to find that perfect man for myself. I find myself daydreaming about the future, marriage, and, more recently, children. Now that I am in college I sometimes catch myself creating a timeline for my life–“I need to be married by 23, have my first child by 26” and so on. I find myself becoming more self conscious about the way I act and look in order to possibly look attractive to someone. This is where Satan tries to pull us away through such things like the media. We start putting outward looks and prideful things before God. We start to make idols out of fashion icons, celebrities and the feelings of others in order to get ahead in the world. In the ninth chapter of Luke it states, “If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it. For what is a man advantaged, if he gain the whole world, and lose himself, or be cast away? For whosoever shall be ashamed of me and of my words, of him shall the Son of man be ashamed, when he shall come in his own glory, and in his Father’s, and of the holy angels.” I am certainly guilty of this and have come to this realization just recently through another book I started of Leslie Ludy’s- Set Apart Femininity. I feel silly admitting that, but many of us do it, right? We are in a rush to get things done in our own time. We are willing to sacrifice our morals and beliefs in order to make ourselves feel better. The reality is, we need to step back and let God’s will be fulfilled in our lives. He is ultimately the one in charge.

I mentioned the book I am reading, Set Apart Femininity. It has truly opened my eyes of many things I need to change in my own life to prepare for a future relationship if God allows it. Many times women get caught up in looks and comparing themselves to other women. There are plenty of beautiful women out there that any guy would love to call their spouses or significant others. Sometimes I catch myself getting caught up in all of the latest styles and fashions to attempt to make myself appear beautiful on the outside (sometimes it’s just a hobby!). However, I don’t want a guy to love me because he may think I’m physically beautiful. I want him to think I’m beautiful because God’s love shines within me and throughout my life. Because I am a humble servant and put my Heavenly Father before all else and try to follow His will regardless of the circumstances. And I want to think my future husband is handsome because of the same reasons.

Although I dream about a wonderful future with a Godly man and a family, I don’t want it unless it is of God. If it isn’t, I know it won’t last or be fulfilling. When we try to step in and try to take decisions into our own hands, that’s when they begin to become a mess. We are imperfect, therefore we need to leave our worries and hopes to the Master. He is the creator of all things good and we should thank Him for such things. “With men it is impossible, but not with God: for with God all things are possible.” Mark 10:27