As the end of May was drawing near I became more and more anxious about the results of my nursing school application. We were told we would receive letters in June. I was really hoping that my hard work from my first year of college would pay off in this acceptance. I spent the majority of my time studying and going to class in order to get that 4.0 to almost guarantee myself a spot in a very competitive school. Not only was I becoming very anxious, but I was also feeling a bit unsure of myself. I prayed throughout my first year of college that if it was the Lord’s will for me to be in the nursing program, to allow me to get in. But God doesn’t always work that way.
Since the beginning of my senior year of high school I have worked at Hobby Lobby in Columbus, my hometown. During my first year at IUPUI I drove down each weekend to work and help support the frame shop because they didn’t have all the help they needed. As my time has progressed at this company, I have become very fond of it. I absolutely love working there. I love it’s Christian-based morals and beliefs and Mr. Green’s passion and faith in them. The company treats it employees extremely well and I love the people I work with. I have often wondered what it would be like to be challenged, or given more responsibility. Perhaps be full time. But of course, if I was full time at work, there would be no way I could go to school up in Indy full time as well. I was confused and began to reconsider and pray about what the Lord’s will would be in my life.
As the frame shop prepared for our frame shop manager to be out for about 8 weeks due to a major surgery, the store manager wanted us to have a special meeting together to make sure everyone was on the same page. He wanted to make sure we had a smooth transition into a new frame shop manager and that we knew what would be expected of us. He then began to talk about the store in general. He stated that when became a $5 million dollar store he could have another assistant manager and more full time employees. He went around the room telling those of us who are part time that he could make us full time if we wanted when this goal was achieved. He told me, “Hannah, I don’t know if you would want to be since you are in school, but I could make you full time if you wanted.” This caught me way off guard because of the confusion I had been feeling lately. And I wondered if God was trying to tell me something. This was the first time I was ever even talked to about being full time. That night I went home with a heavy heart.
The next day I worked and shared some of my thoughts and feelings with some of my co-workers in the frame shop. Of course many said that I should stick with nursing because I would be better off financially. But I thought to myself, finances don’t matter to me; being in the Lord’s will for my life does. I’d rather be poorer and in His will than rich and miserable because I’m not. I have also seen people in church who are now nurses, but are not faithful in church any longer because their job takes away all of their time and effort. This is very discouraging to see and makes me second guess this path. Even just after my first year of college I look back and regret for putting so much more time and effort in my classes and grades than I did in church and I know each year is going to become more challenging and time consuming. All I could do was pray about it.
When I went home that same day my dad had got the mail and I had received a packet in the mail from the IU School of Nursing. I knew what it was. I was in shock. I made it in. By this point I didn’t know what the Lord was trying to get through to me. I was excited I made it in, but still confused and had a heavier heart than before.
One morning I walked into work and was in the break room waiting for the time until I could clock in. I don’t normally read what is on the bulletin board, but this morning I just happened to do so. The beginning of the message talked about the story about a son receiving his father’s inheritance from Luke chapter 15. The son spent his father’s inheritance unwisely and was left with many struggles. The message went on to say if we get ahead or behind of the Lord we can cause ourselves struggles as well. We should wait on Him to tell us when the timing is right for anything. This really hit home concerning the struggle I had been having regarding the path of my life. I am so quick to put a time limit on God, but in reality He is the one in control. I felt so blessed after I read this that tears almost began to fill my eyes. This wasn’t on the board by accident. I love the way the Lord puts things in our paths not by mistake, but for a purpose. I was so blessed to have a sweet moment and prayer with my Lord in the break room by myself. This made me love Hobby Lobby all the more.
To this day I am still not completely sure of what the Lord’s will is in my life. I am just taking it one day at a time and doing what I need to do for the nursing school until the Lord says otherwise. I will never quit praying that I would be in the Lord’s will. It is my heart’s desire to be servant for Him throughout my life, not just when it’s convenient for me. So for now, I am just trying to not step ahead or fall behind His will.
Thoughts of a Young Christian Woman 